Sometimes I wonder how I’ve made it this far in life. Fuck soemyiems, I wonder that all the time!!
There no doubt whatsoever that some big guy in the sky is looking out for me. Whether it’s my mother’s wishes, my father’s prayers, my grandmother’s vibes… Or any number of things, cause it certainly can’t be anything I did!
I make the worse decisions EVER!! And somehow I get away with most things. If I don’t get away with it, it’s usually something serious but not permanent. Which in the moment seems like the world is over, but in the greater scheme of things, it’s really a minor setback but a monster lesson.
So what did I do this time?? Well… Where do I even fucking begin??
Breakup happens, I go on a mad pussy smashing tear, I smash the pussy out the park and let me tell you this ladies and gents, I smashed that pussy good! It’s like, you know when you just have a natural talent for something cause you love doing it? Yeah that’s kinda how this is for me. I LLOOVVVEEE the pussy!
Well it’s not just the pussy, now I’m sounding like a douch bag meat head. Not in the least. It’s the woman that get me going. I love women. Like, a actually love them with all my heart. I love spending time around women, love treating them well, love being a gentleman to them, love taking them out and spending money on them. And just love the love they give back. It feels like home. Idunno if that makes any sense cause I’m tipsy on Guaro in Costa Rica right now, but yeah, the feeling fills my hearts with warmth and happiness.
So what’s the problem, right? Well just cause a fat kid loves cake doesn’t mean he should be eating it! It’s killing him. And women, well pussy to be exactly, is killing me.
How? 2 STI’s and a yeast infection back to back to back and I’m left crippled. Actually in pain. Ok so the one was treated no problem. The other one is viral, and I just need to wait it out. And the yeast infection is, well, any girl knows all too well what that feels like. And who would have known guys can get yeast infections?!? I guess when you think you can’t get it and go balls deep in a broad while she’s discharging white… Yeah I guess you can. Fml what the fuck was I thinking?!?
It all comes from me thinking I’m absolutely invincible I guess. Well shit, turns out I’m not. But really, bareback barbarianism is no way to behave this day in age. Especially since I’m not 21 anymore. But really at 21 I was a fucking moron! Now, fuck, it’s a whole other story. And that’s where the issue is.
So I’m in Costa Rica. Why? I needed to do a solo trip and get the fuck away from women, pussy, everything that’s been holding me back from smashing a career home run and retiring in a few years. So I book a ticket, 17 days, and I say adios to everyone I know. So what happens?? I meet a CR girl and end up spending the first 3 days of it with her. Well, day 1 was epic obviously, ended up back in my bed, things went right to sex and I stopped it. Said no. Was so proud of myself. Second day, nothing! On a roll!! 3rd day and I fell right off the fkn wagon. Bareback barbarian comes out and smashes his way to… Well… Fuck I don’t even know where!!
Think it would feel great tho, right?! NNOOOOOO NOT AT ALL!!! I FEEL FKN TERRIBLE!!!
I broke my word. Don’t know if I got anything from her. Don’t know if I gave her anything. And now I’m left with these thoughts of…. WTF DUDE WWHYYY?!? WHY CAN’T YOU JUST KEEP IT IN YOUR FKN PANTS?!!!
Obv this comes on the heals of something bigger tho. So after my summer rampage, I met a half Persian half white girl, super cool, hot, wild, loves drinking and drugs and partying. All the good stuff. Has been off dick for 2 years getting her life together. We hit it off. I fuck it up by bringing my ex gf on an all-inclusive Vaca during this time and lie to her about it. She breaks up with me and gets back together. Then can’t remember what happened next, breaks up again and comes back. Then we go through this crazy couple days celebrating Christmas, half loving half fighting, but no fucking.
I’m getting ready to leave to CR, a medical incident happens which I won’t even talk about here cause it embarrassing as fuck, but let’s just say I was minutes away from canceling the flight to CR, till I ended up sending her brother dick pics and he reassured me it’s was all OK lol. Fucked up story.
So I’m here. Met this girl, we’ve had an amazing time. And tonight is the last night we’re together. Almost home free. Last second I slip, and balls deep In I go. I’m single so why the fuck not. Except…. No dome. What a fkn moron.
I dunno what else to say than I’m a fucking idiot and I deserve everything I get. I just hope it wasn’t the other way around and I gave HER anything…. Fuck
Anyways, to add to this, tomorrow we go to a super party beach town, and I stay in a hostel. Yeah like that’s gonna be easy to resist. Then 3 nights of relaxing, surfing, and partying on the beach on Santa Teresa, and that’s gonna be rreeaallyyy easy to resist 🙄 fuck
Why don’t I fkn dome up?!?
Moron! Dummy! Fuck
Stay tuned for more disaster stories!
LivestrongFearnothing 