What a feeling… There’s nothing like it!

Is it weird that the feeling of being heartbroken lights me up?? Yeah maybe. But there’s not I do that’s surprising. If it’s fkd up, strange, absurd, or just Plain fucked up…. I’ll be doing it. And this time it’s getting my heart broken.

What the fuck am I talking about??

17 days in Costa Rica has left me heart broken. At least 2 good solid times. Once when I met “Beirut girl” and the other a few hours ago, and still in action actuality, with “south Dakota”.

Walking through the departures doors at SJO and I’m behind the most gorgeous girl I’ve seen in, well a long long time. Don’t think anything of it as we’re boarding 2 diff airlines. And I’ve gotten myself into a mess with girls, so I leave it alone. Also, I thought a saw a ring on the finger and was like “obv this girl’s engaged, no way she’s single”.

I check my bag, walk back only to find her walking out of his checked bag area. We walk to security. I asked if she’s getting in line. She says she’s priority… Well guess what, so am I!! OK so normally I would never pay extra other than to have 1st class but this time for some reason I only buy the priority boarding, never done that before either. Then she shows up.

So we go into the priority line, talk the whole time, decided to hang till I have to leave, shop for trinkets for her niece, then head to the bar for some drinks. Learn all about her life. Clearly I was more interested in her than she was with me, and I’m no sucker to miss that. But I still fall for this girl.

Smart, hustler, likes the sames things I do, going places, entrepreneur, gorgeous fit, I mean what more can you ask for?! Aannddd she’s a country girl!! Always wanted to marry a country girl. Idunno. The movies lol.

My flight is almost gone and I’m delaying boarding, almost decided to change my flight just to hang for a couple more hours. But I didn’t. So off I went. Gave her a hug and I said I’d see her soon. And rode off into the sunset. Left my heart in her Louie bag lol

Not just a princess but a country princess. Rare. The rarest actually.

Will I do anything about it?? Yeah I’m sure as fuck gonna try. I mean how far is south Dakota anyways, can’t be that hard. Now she broke up with a billionaire cause she wasn’t in love with him, so what chance do I have?? Uummmm hello it’s me, so all the chance in the world oobbvvv!!! Homie don’t need a billion dollars!!

So yeah, back to what I was saying before, the feeling of your heart being broken. It’s the worst and get the best most alive feeling one can feel! The hope, the possibility, the madness… All of it!! It’s simply incredible!!

Chase it… You never know, your Trinity could be an airport away!

It’s a sad world. Give them what they want and they go away.

So here’s something I realized tonight. So I’m getting shitfaced on Costa Rican Guaro, right. Sitting on the balcony of one of the most beautiful places on earth and this realization comes to me. Well it comes after much trouble, shit ain’t free after all.

So 4 days ago I invite a girl down to Costa Rica. Im spending a few weeks here x finding myself n all that. And we msg and she tells me she has a few days off. So I say… Hhhayyyyy come down!! So surprisingly she does. I think it’s gonna be the best time ever. Soon enough I discover we are such diff people and we actually don’t get along at all. Just goes to show, don’t really know someone till you spend days and days with them.

So after a few days of having the sickest adventures we end up in this hotel 4oom overlooking the ocean and the rainforest jungle. Super sick. Hotel Costa Verde. If you get a chance, come here!! She’s been after me for dick for some time and I won’t give it up. She keeps trying. It’s cute actually but kinda annoying. Crazy part is I’ve been so brutally honest I wonder how she hasn’t booked a ticket and left already. Anyways….

So after a long day of me being disappointed and telling her that she’s fkd, some central American raccoons happen on our balcony. Cutest things in the world!! They are so balsy!! so me being me I start feeding them. And one turns into 2 and before you know it, there’s 2 coons that won’t leave!! I feed and feed and feed them till they’re so full. And then income our to call them and they’re no where to be found.

At the same time, I go inside, wasted, and I can’t help myself so I start fooling around with her. don’t fuck her but finger her till she cums. I come out and the coons are gone. And now she’s nowhere to be found either.

The point?? Withhold what they want and they keep coming back trying to get it. Give it to them and they abandon you. Basic animal instinct! They will try everything and do and say anything to get what they want… give it to them and they leave.

Girls or raccoons… they always leave when they get what they want. withhold what they want and they will keep trying to get it! IT’S a fucked up savage world but to play it right, gotta hold on to what they want. They will keep trying to get it. Give it to them and they’re gone!!

Good luck!!!

Sometimes I wonder how I’ve made it this far in life. Fuck soemyiems, I wonder that all the time!!

There no doubt whatsoever that some big guy in the sky is looking out for me. Whether it’s my mother’s wishes, my father’s prayers, my grandmother’s vibes… Or any number of things, cause it certainly can’t be anything I did!

I make the worse decisions EVER!! And somehow I get away with most things. If I don’t get away with it, it’s usually something serious but not permanent. Which in the moment seems like the world is over, but in the greater scheme of things, it’s really a minor setback but a monster lesson.

So what did I do this time?? Well… Where do I even fucking begin??

Breakup happens, I go on a mad pussy smashing tear, I smash the pussy out the park and let me tell you this ladies and gents, I smashed that pussy good! It’s like, you know when you just have a natural talent for something cause you love doing it? Yeah that’s kinda how this is for me. I LLOOVVVEEE the pussy!

Well it’s not just the pussy, now I’m sounding like a douch bag meat head. Not in the least. It’s the woman that get me going. I love women. Like, a actually love them with all my heart. I love spending time around women, love treating them well, love being a gentleman to them, love taking them out and spending money on them. And just love the love they give back. It feels like home. Idunno if that makes any sense cause I’m tipsy on Guaro in Costa Rica right now, but yeah, the feeling fills my hearts with warmth and happiness.

So what’s the problem, right? Well just cause a fat kid loves cake doesn’t mean he should be eating it! It’s killing him. And women, well pussy to be exactly, is killing me.

How? 2 STI’s and a yeast infection back to back to back and I’m left crippled. Actually in pain. Ok so the one was treated no problem. The other one is viral, and I just need to wait it out. And the yeast infection is, well, any girl knows all too well what that feels like. And who would have known guys can get yeast infections?!? I guess when you think you can’t get it and go balls deep in a broad while she’s discharging white… Yeah I guess you can. Fml what the fuck was I thinking?!?

It all comes from me thinking I’m absolutely invincible I guess. Well shit, turns out I’m not. But really, bareback barbarianism is no way to behave this day in age. Especially since I’m not 21 anymore. But really at 21 I was a fucking moron! Now, fuck, it’s a whole other story. And that’s where the issue is.

So I’m in Costa Rica. Why? I needed to do a solo trip and get the fuck away from women, pussy, everything that’s been holding me back from smashing a career home run and retiring in a few years. So I book a ticket, 17 days, and I say adios to everyone I know. So what happens?? I meet a CR girl and end up spending the first 3 days of it with her. Well, day 1 was epic obviously, ended up back in my bed, things went right to sex and I stopped it. Said no. Was so proud of myself. Second day, nothing! On a roll!! 3rd day and I fell right off the fkn wagon. Bareback barbarian comes out and smashes his way to… Well… Fuck I don’t even know where!!

Think it would feel great tho, right?! NNOOOOOO NOT AT ALL!!! I FEEL FKN TERRIBLE!!!

I broke my word. Don’t know if I got anything from her. Don’t know if I gave her anything. And now I’m left with these thoughts of…. WTF DUDE WWHYYY?!? WHY CAN’T YOU JUST KEEP IT IN YOUR FKN PANTS?!!!

Obv this comes on the heals of something bigger tho. So after my summer rampage, I met a half Persian half white girl, super cool, hot, wild, loves drinking and drugs and partying. All the good stuff. Has been off dick for 2 years getting her life together. We hit it off. I fuck it up by bringing my ex gf on an all-inclusive Vaca during this time and lie to her about it. She breaks up with me and gets back together. Then can’t remember what happened next, breaks up again and comes back. Then we go through this crazy couple days celebrating Christmas, half loving half fighting, but no fucking.

I’m getting ready to leave to CR, a medical incident happens which I won’t even talk about here cause it embarrassing as fuck, but let’s just say I was minutes away from canceling the flight to CR, till I ended up sending her brother dick pics and he reassured me it’s was all OK lol. Fucked up story.

So I’m here. Met this girl, we’ve had an amazing time. And tonight is the last night we’re together. Almost home free. Last second I slip, and balls deep In I go. I’m single so why the fuck not. Except…. No dome. What a fkn moron.

I dunno what else to say than I’m a fucking idiot and I deserve everything I get. I just hope it wasn’t the other way around and I gave HER anything…. Fuck

Anyways, to add to this, tomorrow we go to a super party beach town, and I stay in a hostel. Yeah like that’s gonna be easy to resist. Then 3 nights of relaxing, surfing, and partying on the beach on Santa Teresa, and that’s gonna be rreeaallyyy easy to resist 🙄 fuck

Why don’t I fkn dome up?!?

Moron! Dummy! Fuck

Stay tuned for more disaster stories!

LOTD: Options

Posted: November 25, 2018 in Heart

The only options are fear or mastery.

The way you react to your woman is the way you react to the world. When life hits hard, goes crazy, gets chaotic, what do you do?

Whatever you do with your woman is what you do with the world around you. Both your woman and the world will wreck you so bad you don’t wanna get up. How you react when your woman goes “insane” is how you react when the world around you goes insane.

You can choose to back down, or pick smaller challenges, or wait for the storm to calm down. Or you can take the moment as a challenge to conquer the world, and your woman! Be full, be strong, be present. Learn to enjoy her anger, her tears, her hardness. The world will give you the same. Have no attachment to the outcome. The world, and your woman’s emotions will rise and fall.

You only have 2 options. Fear, or mastery. Choose mastery!!

“you have mastered your woman, and the world when no desire either to avoid or attain sways your loving or limits your freedom”

Wow what a shit show

Posted: November 24, 2018 in Heart

So I’m drunk. Sitting in the most beautiful place I can think of this year. And I’m so not feeling it. So much has happened in the last week. But I’ll start off with what just happened. So I stupidly decide to go on an all-inclusive vaca with my ex. Yes it was short. We’re like best friends now. But still my ex. And I’m seeing this new girl who’s in love with me. Well used to be until tonight at least. I let it slip that on here with my ex. I must have not told her, I do remember I said I’m here with a friend. But I got wasted and said it. She got so mad she deleted me off insta and it’s over. And I’m sitting here heart broken over this. Stupid I know. But I did it. It happened. And now she’s gone. All my plans and all my futures and it’s all gone. How I feel? Heartbroken. Shattered. I asked for her to understand but she won’t. And it’s done. I make mistakes, stupid ones I get it. But I’m human. I’m sad. Relaizeing what I did. Nothing happened between the ex and I, slept in diff rooms. The whole nine. Never did anything.. Nore will I ever. But I get how it looks. Bad. Fuck.

This last 2 weeks have been insane. I gave my best friend chlamydia, had the craziest 3some, met a whole bunch of girls, hired a personal assistant that I like and went on dates with. I dunno wtf I’m doing. Also met an amazing girl that I could have had future with but I fucked it up by going on vaca with my ex. Idunno. Fuck. I’m drunk, yes. Things don’t make sense right now. I can’t believe how dumb I am sometimes. But I’m not normal. Just not. Sometimes I wanna be normal. Sometimes I’m I’m glad I’m not. Just gets all fucked up in the mix of life. Yet here I am. The ex is out doing shit. I’m in the patio overlooking beauty. And yet here I am. Heartbroken, distraught, unhappy. What do I do? Get more drunk? Go to sleep? Go out? Idunno. What can I do. On top of all that I thought I saw my ex who I’m not totally over yet. And it broke me. Fuck. Fuck. Whatever.

Look, whoever is reading this I’m sorry for being such a lush. Pouring out my dumb feelings on the world. I just don’t know what else to do. Let it out I guess. Let it out in black and white to the world to see that I’m only human and I fuck up all the time. But what do I want? Love. Epic love. And I can’t seem to find it cause I keep fucking it up… Making stupid mistakes. Fuck.

Oh well whatever. Everything happens for a reason. No such thing as a coincidence. And it always happens in your favor.. Maybe it was to teach me not to do shit like that. But I had these plans before I met her. But whatever. A

To my people in the world. Thank you for reading my drunken rants. I love you all with all my heart. ❤️

Lesson of the day:

If you pay close attention, you’ll actually witness you sabotaging yourself.

This is something I’ve struggled with and been a witness to for several years now. It started maybe 6 to 7 years ago when I met this wonderful girl (and I say wonderful now cause time dulled the experience, back then she was psychotic, neurotic, demanding, the list goes on and on).

Our second date was a drive to Toronto, not even 30min into it there was a long silent moment and then she just lets it out… “why do you sabotage yourself”? She didn’t know me for shit so my response was… “what the fuck”?! But she called it. She saw something I couldn’t see. I would have sworn that there was no way someone like myself would ever be doing that. I just landed a 6 figure salary job, I’ve already graduated a chemical engineering program and went back for a second tour for business. How the fuck am I sabotaging myself?!

Long story short, and the reason why everyone needs a life coach of some sorts (and I can recommend an amazing one by the way, she’s taken me from a 2 to a 7 in less than an hour on the phone, and she takes calls from anywhere in the world, especially when it’s an emergency). So since then, I’ve been in reflecting, a lot. From Esther (Abraham) Hicks to Eckhart Tolle to a library full of books to all sorts of hypnosis, meditation, the list goes on and on. Well, until I found Landmark, which changed my life, which led me to Sterling, again life changer, well all the way up to this moment.

I’ve been in a rut. Why? Well simple really, I’m not doing the work. I’ll share a secret with you. The secret to getting everything you ever wanted. It’s gonna sound silly, and simple, but life is really that simple. It’s us that complicates the fuck out of it.

“DO THE WORK” That’s it.

Now, what’s the work? Well, that’s what a skilled coach is there for. I’m still learning. I’ve been in self-development for 3 years now and the boy that was there then is now the man that is here. And I know everything now right? LOL!! The one thing I’ve learned is…

The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know.

Yes, that’s my dear dear friend Albert Einstein. But that’s the truth. So I keep learning and growing.

OK so back to my sabotage rant. So if you observe closely enough, you’ll see it happening. One of the thing that you have to know in doing the work is learning to OBSERVE YOURSELF. Not easy, takes practice, but when you do it long enough you’ll start to be able to see things happening in real time.

So there I was, feeling disgruntled all day. Kinda angry, overwhelmed, frustrated. The feeling of “nothing is working out for me”. A story my brain made up. How do I know this? Well, Landmark. Training. Practice. Doing the work. So I start to observe. Break things down. I look at what my brain is saying. “Nothing is working out for me” and I compare it to the facts.


– I live in one of the safest countries in the world

– I have a well-paying career

– I drive one of the sickest cars

– I’m healthy

– I’m relatively young and look even younger

– I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, with whoever I want

– I’m planning 2 trips to any destination I fucking want in the next 2 months

– I’m car shopping for my “winter beater” and that’s always fun

The list goes on and on… But the one sticky point is…. The girl situation. That’s what’s getting me down. But it’s a catch 22. I’m single. And I’ve chosen to be single. After my last relationship, things really changed. I want THE ONE and will not settle down with just anyone. Am I not able to get girls? On the contrary, times are plentiful. Right now I’m dating, and these girls are amazing…but… Just not THE ONE. So why be bummed? I can easily make my way to one of their houses and spend an amazing night of wine, sex, and conversation. My work just invited me to a house party where there will be more than enough hot young girls. My other friend invited me to come party with her and her friends. So what the fuck is it?!

Enter the mobster dubbed self-sabotage! I don’t wanna be with any of those girls, I don’t wanna go to the party, I don’t wanna make the drive to my friends, I don’t wanna put on a costume and get shit faced and meet some amazing new girls. And yet I feel so unwanted.

Wtf?! Right?! After reflecting, and observing, I see that it’s me being 7 years old and feeling unwanted. Unwanted by my parents, by my classmates, by girls, by my brothers, by everyone. And there I am, my 7-year-old self still running the show being angry, and my not 7-year-old self using my brain to justify all the excuses I’m making to blow everyone off so I can feel this way!

How to get over this self-sabotage? In the short term, action. In the long term, doing the work. I had 10 days off work that I wanted to do my first solo trip to England. What happened? I justified the fuck out of why I shouldn’t go and didn’t. And in a month is my rematch. Planning to go somewhere hot, Costa Rica maybe? Nicaragua? I dunno. But I feel the justification kicking in so my 7 year old can sabotage the fuck out of it. How do I overcome this?? Pick a place, book the ticket, hope I make it back lol.

So there you have it. Observe close enough and you’ll see it happening. It’s all just a story, and the facts tell a whole other story.

Peace & love. Always & forever.

It’s said that the moments of greatest revelation come from the moments of greatest despair or happiness. Some sort of peak experience in life that tears open the fabric of space and time and transports us almost to another dimension where we’re able to access something greater than ourselves, something higher, some alter self, some elevated self, the true self.

Most days we wander through life seemingly unaware of reality, of life, in autopilot droning on about this or that, taxes, bills, work, stress, girls/guys… Whatever. Trivial matters. Fleeting matters. Matters that will not be remembered a year down the road, something benign. Totally missing the very nature of life, the present, the thing that surrounds us, that gives us life, that elevates our being to some higher plane of existence that we only seem to be on for seconds every once in a while in such a rare experience that it seems almost foreign.

We run away from those moments of peak experience. We fear them. We drown them by busying ourselves with trivial matters that are like farts on tile floors. They’re heard, smelled, but within seconds or even minutes are gone, never to be remembered, utterly meaningless. So then what does one do?

Well, I can’t claim to know what to do, I’m on this journey just the same. And this journey can be feared, experienced with closed eyes, heart, and mind. Or lived. Truly lived with eyes wide open, heart wide open, and mind wide open to all that is around is. Scary is just a word. It’s a viewpoint. It’s a context. Change the context and your world changes around you!

Roller-coasters are scary to some and thrilling to others. So can you go from being scared to not? Well in a matter of speaking, yes. But what’s the solution, how do you do that? Well… This is gonna sound cliché but you just do it! You be scared! Be scared as fuck! Go on, sit at the front, open your eyes, scream like hell, and be scared as fuck. And when the ride stops, you might have to go change your pants but you’ll realize you didn’t die. You made it, you crushed it, you looked fear in the eyes and took it head on. Yeah pissing yourself in the process but gives a fuck?! In a few years, it’ll make for one helluva story either way! You know what won’t make a good story? The time you chickened out and didn’t go on that ride cause you were too scared!

Life is really just a collection of stories, experiences along the way to the final destination. The more of these amazing stories the more life you would have lived. You don’t have to travel the world, you don’t have to be CEO of a Fortune 500 company, you just have to collect stories and experiences.

The best place to start is to become your own best friend. Start with yourself. Find a way to connect with your true self, chase the joy that we see all put on this earth to experience. And the quickest surest way to do that is to clear your mind and experience the feelings that are happening inside you right now. If they are sadness then feel sad, anger then be angry, don’t deny them. Let them go through you, wash over you, sit with them.

One way I like to experience them is when I am going through times like this, as I am now writing this is to just sit with them. The term is “comfortably confronting”. I’m confronted by a feeling, so I find a quiet place that peaceful, and I sit with that feeling. Be curious. Don’t judge, analyze, nothing. Just observe. Where is it in my body. What does it really feel like? Breath through that part of the body, imagine my breath is going from my lungs into that part of the body. Allow it to be there, never making it wrong.

Feelings are your compass in life. They steer your ship. Good feelings, you’re on the right path, bad ones and there’s something off. Embrace the feeling. I tend to feel lonely. Kinda why I started writing. Am I alone, not in the least. I’m surrounded by people constantly. But something is off. I tell myself it’s this or that. It’s a new Benz I need to buy or I once I have a long-term relationship or I need my hair fixed or my nose done or a million other things. But in reality, when those things happen it’ll just be something else. I won’t be able to be with anyone cause I fear being with myself. I fear being alone. Alone in this cold cold world. But that’s not reality!

The reality is that that’s the thoughts of a little boy whose mother left him alone at the house one time cause she had to go to work and from that point in was terrified of being left alone in this world. So I grew up with the fantasy of when I find my princess ill never let get go and we’ll grow old and be happy and never leave each other’s side. So had that happened?? Well yes. Multiple times. The crazy part is, it’s either me that ends it and feels alone or she ends it and I feel alone. It’s this cycle that leads to the same place. Never letting myself get what I want. Why? Cause it’s not me running the show. It’s an addiction of a little bit running the show and I’m just the victim of his terror lol. Sounds messed up right? Well, it’s reality.

The reality is I’m a grown ass man that doesn’t need shit! I have everything. But yet still feel unfulfilled. Why? Cause the things I’m going after don’t fulfill me, they fulfill the little boy. Then after a while, I wake up and realize it’s not what I want. And the cycle continues. It’s vicious as fuck!

So what’s there to do? Well, that’s all part of the journey. There’s no destination. The destination is final and not somewhere you wanna really ever get to. It’s the process. It’s the work. It’s the progress. It’s the struggle. It’s the pain. It’s the joy on getting over the pain. It’s the conquest. It’s the glory. It’s the defeat. It’s the victory. It’s all of those. Life happens in the moments between the destination. We’re always getting ready to get ready to get ready… Never really getting anywhere. Never really catching the carrot. Fucks sakes THERE IS NO FUCKING CARROT!! YOU ARE THE CARROT! life is what you make it. You’re the creator, the director, the producer, all of it! Everyone else is just an extra on your set and you get to hire and fire whoever you want!!

I write this for me, I hope you know that. This is my way of telling me what I need to hear. I’m the best advice giver but the worst advice taker and I think you can all relate. We can give everyone the best advice but can never give it to ourselves. So here I am giving it to myself. And if this helps you in the process then that makes me just that much happier!!

Much has happened in the last week…which I should just leave for another blog. A few highs, a bunch of lows, and some really fucked up news which kinda brought me peace? Yeah, it’s a whole story. And it’s one that even surprised me, I mean waking up holding a woman’s breast implant in my hand wearing woman’s pink silk pants would surprise anyone, right?! But that’s a story for another time lol

Peace & love, always & forever

Lesson of the day:

There’s always a silver lining to every shitty situation, just have to open your eyes to see it.

OK, so tonight my girlfriend broke down and had to be towed back home. And by girlfriend I mean my newest baby, my car. Her name is Freya btw. Named after the Norse goddess of beauty, sex, and war. She’s German so it’s only fitting she gets a name like that. And she really is all about beauty and sex. The war, well she’s the night edition or as I say it’s a spelling mistake and it’s actually the Knight edition. Yeah, she’s a blacked out 2018 topless blacked out with cranberry red interior Merc.

Hit a massive pothole on the highway, ripped the sidewall open, thank goodness they’re run-flats! Turn around and headed back home (I was 30min out from a 3-hour drive to a meeting). Got an hour and a half to my house when the tire was totally fucked. So call the tow company, tell them I need someone to come change my tire (cause why the fuck would I do it when I pay for a service, right?!). In that time I check for the spare only to find there’s NO SPARE!

WTF, right?! Well, I guess most new cars have runflats and don’t use spares anymore. So… A flatbed towtruck it was. Yeah, I could have been pissed, but Remeber a few LOTD’s ago? Go with it even if you didn’t plan it? So how do I make the most of this?!?

BURGER KING!! Yes there was a burger king right there and I haven’t had a whopper in like 5 years… So why the fuck not!? By the time I got my whopper the tow guy was there. Hooked Freya up, I jumped in with him for the 1.5-hour drive and we were off!

And wow, what an amazing conversation we had. Racing cars, cops, law shit… Then it got only health. And I’m thinking, this old guy has a good fucking life. Not too shabby looking for an old dude and funny AF always laughing. Tells me he’s diagnosed with some bowel disease and in a matter of a year or 2 they will have to cut out his colon and he’s gotta shit in a fucking bag!!

I dunno, something about that. I was thinking of how I’d feel if I knew there was nothing I can do and in a couple years I’d be shitting in a bag. Man, I definitely wouldn’t be taking it as this guy would. I’d be depressed AS FUCK! Doing all sorts of stupid shit. Just put things into perspective.

Everyone is dealing with shit. The shit I think in dealing that’s “the end of the world” is so trivial….

Whoa ok, I’m way off track lol. Wtf does this have to do with a silver lining?! Lol yeah, I tend to lose track sometimes.

So what’s the silver lining?! Hello! Fucking burger king OOBBVVVV!!! I even got another whopper to go, I mean it’s only right, it was 2 for 7 deal, that’s basically like buy one get one free!! Oh well that and the fact that a man is on the fast track to shitting in a bag and is still being an incredible human being, still smiling and laughing and radiating amazing energy! Can’t control the situation your in but you sure can control how you feel about it! So I learned a little something from him. Put my “whoa is me” issues really into perspective.

So now imma eat this second whopper, enjoy the fuck out of it, and ponder how amazing I have it!


Ok, so I missed a few days. I said I would blog once a day with a new lesson I learned that day, turns out it’s a lot more time consuming than I thought. So what am I gonna do about it? I’m just gonna keep working on it. What am I NOT gonna do? Beat myself up over it, degrade myself, use negative language, feel bad about it, or generally turn it into a negative. I did what I did and I didn’t do what I didn’t do… And that’s the end of it.

So now, without further ado, the lesson of the day :

Do you invest in stocks? Well for those that do, what your doing is investing in someone else and their company. So why not invest in yourself? What kind of return on investment would you get if you invested the time and/or the money into yourself compared to that company? Do you have an idea that’s dancing around in your head of something you’ve always wanted to do? Then why not put the money into it and see what kind of returns you’ll get? Is there a side hustle you’ve always wanted to start up? Maybe something you’re passionate about that makes you smile when you think about it? Well, what if it took off and started generating massive income? Hell, what if it didn’t but made you feel excited to wake up every morning to work on it? What would they be worth to you? Isn’t that really the point of living? Isn’t it the point of making money in the first place? Money itself doesn’t make one happy, it’s what that money can buy. And usually, we’re trying to buy happiness. Well what if that investment bypasses the money and goes right for the happiness and excitement, wouldn’t it be worth it? Wouldn’t it be worth more than a million bucks in your account? Wouldn’t it be priceless? Cause if money bought happiness, wouldn’t the richest country in the world also be the happiest? It would, right? But it’s not. There’s a weird relationship between money and happiness. Happiness is directly proportional to the amount of money you make to a certain point, and then around the 80k mark, it takes a weird turn becoming inversely proportional, where the more money you make the LESS happy you are! So invest in yourself like your a fortune 500 company where ROI is happiness and excitement, and if you happen to make money as a byproduct, well that’s even better!!

Lesson of the day:

Even though to you something might be clear as day, through someone else’s perspective, it’s might be clear as mud.

I’ll elaborate. Today I met up for my biweekly meeting with my men’s group. We played this game that’s designed to make you see and experience empathy for another. There’s many levels of play and the one we started off with involved a guide, a builder, a curator, and a bunch of observers. The curator builds an object with a certain number of wooden parts, gives that to the guide who’s blindfolded, who has to feel and describe that object to the builder who’s also blind folded, who must then build it. Sounds easy, right? Not so much. It’s meant to teach you a lot about yourself and others.

So what did it teach me?? Well many things but the one I’ll focus on is that when your an observer from the outside, some things seem so simple and so obvious. Like you want to yell out in frustration cause it’s so simple, it’s all right there, why can’t they see it?! Well that’s exactly it, THEY CAN’T SEE IT!! Their perspective is not yours.

The other big thing happened when one person set up one piece wrong, believed it was right, and even though the guide asked him repeatedly if it was in that position, he kept repeating that it was, but really it wasn’t. So how does that happen? Well the builder was listening but just wasn’t hearing what the guide was saying. He already checked it off in his mind that it was right and moved on, closed his mind to the fact that there’s a chance it might not be. It was right and that’s the end of it. Never going back to consider that maybe it’s not and he should double check. How many times do we do that in life?! Idunno about you but for me it’s many! Many many many times.

As an observer it’s even more frustrating cause your seeing this happen and can’t do anything about it, wondering how the fuck is this person getting this so wrong right now?! Wanting to scream at them but can’t. But it’s crazy to see how it all plays out. It symbolizes how we really are with each other in life. We talk from our own perspective, blind to what the other person sees or experiences. They do their thing based on what we’re saying but that’s also coming from a blind perspective, only focusing out what we experience. Miscommunications, frustration, misunderstanding, and no matter how many times someone is saying something that we think we got and move on, we’re not really fully listening to what their saying from a clear open mind, from nothing. Cause only from nothing can there truly be something.