Archive for the ‘A-Fib’ Category

Jan/04/2017

Posted: January 5, 2017 in A-Fib, Heart, Random Rants, Trials of Life
Tags: , ,

0330: woken up for a fight. She lost her ring I gave her for Christmas. She can’t sleep. So why should I right?? She tells me about it. In my sleepy vulnerable state I thought that I could speak freely. Speak my mind. Speak from the heart. I blabbered on, cause that’s just what I do. I felt really good. She wasn’t arguing or saying anything in return. I thought maybe she was asleep! Turns out she wasn’t. She was just holding her tongue. And then she spoke. And then we fought. And fought and fought and fought till about 5am. Why? If I try to show or teach her anything I’ve learned in my life, me being 10 years older, she sees it as me putting her down. And for her, she was t’s to be “equal or above”  so that’s fine. I tried for so long to tell her I don’t see anyone as above or below. We all on the same level ground. But so many have taught me growing up and I wanna give that to her so she had this valuable knowledge that I wish I had been told years earlier. Not for change, but to just have it. Take it. Use it or not, that’s up to you, but let me speak it. It’s the #1 thing I crave. For me it’s self expression. If I can say what I want without having to think and rethink about it for fear of it being the wrong thing to do, then I’m happy. That’s why I feel in love with her in the first place. We spoke for 3-4 hours every single day! She let me talk and talk and talk. I melted. I was in so much love. I flew to Not her country for her cause I loved it so much. And now, I’m being asked to not. Not talk, not teach, not show, not have any self expression for fear that it might piss her off and cause her to resent me cause it might comes off as me putting her down or invalidating her worth or controlling her by “telling her what to do” . So that’s that I guess. I’ll just stuff it inside. Or learn to deal with it some other way with some other person. The complete girl I’ve always wanted and thought she was at the beginning, turns out isn’t her. And in that I realize that my vision of the complete girl is off. She really doesn’t exist in my realm. Not in this life. Why be a single bachelor so far? What’s the point, the one I want doesn’t exist in this life, so why chase her?  It’s like chasing after a sasquatch. To all those that have found the perfect one for them, I say. . . I’m super happy for all you. Your lucky and blessed. For the rest of us, we either settle or live a lonely life. Going from relationship to relationship, cold hearted. Waiting for the day when the director yells CCUUUTTTT! And then it’s a wrap. Enjoyed or not, it all had to end eventually.
0700: 1x exhilarin

0730: 2x probiotic

0735: tulsi chai tea

1130: 2 drops d+k, 1x ALA, 1x carnitine, 1x CoQ10, 2x fish oil, earl gray tea

1900: 2x l-theanine, 1 x complex, 2x b3

2100: lobster ravioli, virgin ceasar

2200: 1x digestive enzymes

2245: 1tsp calm magnesium
Amazing dinner out at victoria house. Great food, amazing atmosphere, amazing people around. Super cool. No fighting. Laughing the whole time. Truly made the entire trip worth it. Lots and lots of laughs.  We jokes around like we were kids. So super immature and yet so much fun. Made fun if each other, laughed, joked, we were totally in our own world. Felt super appreciated by the crew around for all the world we are doing here on the island, making people lives better, enriching them, empowering them. Felt at peace. Clear minded. Happy. Joyous. Surrounded any friends. What a great night. And the “lobster in a blanket with his friends camping” dish was pretty good too. Oh and they make the BEST bloody marry drink EEVVEERRRRR!!!!!! Even if it’s a virgin.

Jan/03/2017

Posted: January 5, 2017 in A-Fib, Heart, Random Rants, Trials of Life
Tags: , , ,

0700: 1x exhilarin

0900: chai holy basil, coffee alternative

1000: beans, rice, spices, onion

1030: 1x CoQ10, 1x ALA, 1x carnitine

1100: protein pancakes, phytoberry, butter, syrup, banana

1600: blue raspberries poweraid

1700: cherry diet 7up
Feeling great today. Another day of no PAC’s. Great day for sure. No fights yet so no stress yet. Headache but that could be from too much sun yesterday and some dehydration. I been reading about ketosis and I’m thinking of doing some fasting and going on a keto diet, see how that plays out. As soon as i get settled back in Canada.
1745: 2x d+k, 2x fish oil, 1 scoop aminos, pollen, honey, D-ribos, taurine

Jan/02/2017

Posted: January 5, 2017 in A-Fib, Heart, Random Rants, Trials of Life
Tags: , ,

0900: 1x exhilarin

1000: coffee alternative

1030: acv and baking soda

1100: left over shrimp pizza and lasagna, 2 drops d +k, 1x ALA 1x CoQ10, 1x carnitine, 2x probiotic

1130: 1 scoop phytoberry, bee pollen, psyllium, chia, D-ribos, taurine
Today has been very different from yesterday. Got woken up for her to ask if u had cheated on her.  Why? She had a dream I did. Which pretty much set the tone for the day. Someone knocked on the door, asked for keys, she looks for a few  seconds, can’t find them comes and gets me to look for them. So I get up out of bed to look, only to find them right there in open view on the bench in the middle of the room. A blind person could have seen them. So I proceed to say that she need to learn to be more present, something that I always thought she lacks. Don’t get me wrong, so do I, and I made that very clear. But I’m aware that I’m not and I’m trying my best to be. Where she won’t even accept it a fight started about how I’m trying to change her and that I always try to teach her stuff and how I need to stop trying to elevate her and let he do whatever she wants and never say anything about it, just keep it inside and if she ever asks then I can say something. Even tho I’m in the relationship, I should not have the ability to speak freely Becuase it could come off as criticism and instead just keep my mouth shut and just love her. Now I think anyone reading this is gonna see the problem here. Lack of self expression = soul suffocation = an eventual end to the relationship. But she doesn’t see it. No communication = end of the relationship. But that’s good for her as long as she’s not made to feel like her ego is getting stepped on. So starts the beginning of the end. It’s too bad that she won’t be able to see it till it’s all over.

1300: 1 tsp Moringa, 1tsp turmeric

1600: 1/2 #2 cigar monte Cristo

1830: 1x D-stress

1900: tea: matcha, holy basil, some fruity smelling loose leaf tea from Teavana

2100: grouper, baked potato, keylime pie

2230: 25 drops Aussie trace minerals

2245: 1 tsp calm magnesium, 1x potassium iodide

Jan/01/2017

Posted: January 5, 2017 in A-Fib, Heart, Random Rants, Trials of Life
Tags: , ,

1000: 1x exhilarin

1100: 2x probiotic

1130: 3 x protein pancakes, 1x carnitine, 1x CoQ10, 1x ALA
So last night was pretty amazing. The day started off not so good. Then got the invite at like 1500 for a boat cruise @ 2000. Felt shitty. Didn’t wanna go. For personal jabs from cat which made me not wanna go even more. Then she changed her tune and was sweet, so I decided I’d go even tho I felt like crap. Ended up having an amazing night. Cruised for a bit with the guys, talked about a whole bunch of cool Stuff, talked about the highlight of 2016 (meeting Christie and her crew), made a new years resolution to tame Maurice the instant gratification monkey (no more procrastination) by writing it down in a piece of paper and burning it right before the clock hit midnight, then watched the fireworks from the sail boat. Epic. Got back around 130,took a cruise into town, hit a local pub, back home at 430. Bed by 5. Amazing night. Was in the best place I could have been mentally. Peacefully calm and tranquil. Felt so alive. Holding a girl that made it all happened. Who loves me obsessively. Surrounded by the best people i could have been around. Epic. Messed up the day after cause it totally threw off the clock,  but total worth it. Then today, no fights all day. Amazing day. Got my wish of starting off the year on a great note!!! And all this time still no PAC’s. Loving it!!!

Dec/21/2016

Posted: December 31, 2016 in A-Fib, Heart, Random Rants
Tags: , , , , , ,

So I woke up this morning after sleeping for approx 4 hours to my roomie becky blasting the tv right in the next room after getting back from the hospital. They told her she’s ok,  she’s pissed they didn’t find anything cause she’s obv sick. So I’m like. . . HOMMIIIEEEE. . .  so she turns it off and goes to bed. I get back up an hour later to have to do all this work I forgot about cause of everything else that’s going on. Whatever. It gets done. I piss in a cup frank gave me from Bluewater health and I head over there to check my adrenal functions. He’s pleasantly surprised. Asked me how I was, I told him I feel about 15% more relaxed for sure! He checks and find out that my K-test results dropped Rom being at 43 “off the charts”  to an amazing 27!! Not expected but the Exhilarin is definitely doing it’s magic!!! In the mean time I’ve had very little heart palpitations, idunno what it is but its working. Imma keep my protocol of nutrition going and mentally trying to calm and be cool about things. I like how this is turning out. I head over and get a neck massage, feels amazing!! Free’s it up real nice!! I really need to do those more often!! So I’m at work. Eating salad and baked beans. Loving it. And yet I’m dying for a coffee and some desserts!! Oh well. Small price to pay. I did get some coffee alternative today from Bluewater so we’ll see how good that is compared to the real thing. For now, it’s tea for me.
1500: 1x exhilarin, 2 drops d+k drop

1645: 4x probiotic

1800: baked beans, dole chipotle cheddar bag, pom juice

1815: 1x skate liver oil, 1x potassium iodine, 1x magnesium threonate

1900: shake : almond milk, pollen, banana, mct, 1 scoop whey, 2g taurine, 1 scoop chia, flax, shitake mushroom powder, scoop phytoberry

1919: 1x carnitine, 1x CoQ10, 1x ALA

2100: 30x heart drops, peppermint tea, 1x fish oil, 1x krill oil

2300: 1/2 bag white cheddar chipotle popcorn

0030: 1 raw zucchini, covered in sumac, mango spice, salt.  1/2 pom juice

1/2 bag white cheddar chipotle popcorn

0700: nerval tonic tea

0715: Epsom salt bath

Dec/20/2016

Posted: December 31, 2016 in A-Fib, Heart, Random Rants
Tags: , , , , , ,

Went to bed at 12, woke up at 11. Slept 11 hours!!! Amazing. I woke up feeling so calm and amazing. Heart was great. Calm. No skipped beats. I felt so peace. Amazing. Mind was calm. It was all so good this morning. Even though there was alot of stress to be had with belize work, I was doing great. No beating or anything. Even tho I blew up at Christie, still nothing. Wow. So good. Maybe they was the key. Not the seaweed. Not the emotional outburst. But the sleep. Maybe my heart just got sick if not resting the way it wants to. Never taking a break. And never winding down and relaxing.
1200: 1x exhilarin, 2x d+k drop

1300: earl grey green tea with honey

1400: dole chipotle cheddar bag salad with piece of chicken, 1 cup coconut water

1x carnitine, 1x CoQ10, 1x ALA, 1x blue ice fermented skate live oil cap,  4x hcp30

1545: tea: hibiscus, Sorel, Caf, Rose water, honey

 

1801: morracan mint tea with 30 drops heart care

2145: 1x ALA, 1x CoQ10,  2x krill oil. Ate 6 chicken wings

2214: sitting feet up. Minor left chest pain. Palpitations

2300: 1 bag of white cheddar chipotle popcorn

1600: acv and baking soda mix

0100: shake :blueberries, almond milk, pollen, 2g taurine, 1 scoop whey, 1 scoop shitake mushroom powder, flax seeds, 1 tsp lavender

0230: 30 drops heart care

0640: 1x GABA 500mg,  apple tea

0645: sleep