Grounds hog day

Posted: August 27, 2017 in Heart

It’s a crazy thing this life. What’s also crazy is our perception of time. When we’re riding high, time jusy seems to evaporate and we can’t ever seem to hold on to it. Yet when we’re in some crisis, time just seems to stand still. This is especially true when one has based their time around a certain person or thing and then that thing dissappears. Left with not knowing how on earth to fill that time up. Crisis control. Short term thought of time that isn’t being in the moment. When we’re doing well, happy, on the rise, we think in terms of years down the road. When we’re struggling to manage each day, we thing till the end of the day and hope for a better one the next. It’s all perception. Context. How we frame the life we are living. 

I want to tell you about one day of my life. Yesterday. I’ll try not to ramble lol. 

So yesterday started off on a very down note. I woke up at 10am (went to bed at 6) and laid in bed and thought about Christie for the next hour or so. All about what I’d say to get her back. Not a good idea but all is wanted was to sleep but I couldn’t. Mind was racing. I even started thinking about what I’d do to get rid of the other guy in her life, that’s how bad it got. So I got a call from Jaylene, got up, we talked for the next 3 hours almost. During that talk, I made a lot of discoveries. About myself. I wrote a lot down. Had a serious talk with myself. With God. Then had to go into work. Get there in a shitty downer mood. Notong after I was there I called Francesco. A guy I met in Belize, very wise man, to make plans with him for a sit-down to talk about stuff. I wanted his opinion on what’s going on. He asked me how I was, I told him I wasn’t good. Then explained why. During my explanation I stated shaking when I told him I want her back. He said that it’s better to have this talk in person. So we made plans for the Tuesday. I was shook. Not long after that I had a really profound talk with Jeremy from work. He told me about his friend shows going through something like this and then how he’s even going through something similar after 15 years of being in a marriage. What a shame. 

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