Dec/12/2016

Posted: December 21, 2016 in Trials of Life

So a lot has happened in the last few days which has lead me to this point. I’m not keeping track of everything I take in, from food to supplements. See if there’s a patterns of what makes it better or worse. I’ll explain after. 
​+baking soda, then baking soda mixed with Apple cider vinegar 

+calm magnesium citrate 

+R-ala, tryptophan

+Avacados, eggs, spinach, cilantro, chicken, kimchi, saurkraut, raw ginger, 
I dont even know what to say. Maybe I’ll make this my journal for the day when i don’t have time to write it down on Paper. So I’m in the washroom of work. Eyes teary. Feeling helpless and desperate. Why? Something called premature atrial contractions. PAC. It’s basically when the heart misses a beat or adds an extra beat. And it’s been happening non stop for days!!!! So here i am, 7 days since this started in Belize on the morning after we ate the Austrian food. What a morning. Woke up and I felt like I was falling apart. Bloating. Gas. Heart skipping. Inflammation all over. Just not feeling well as all. It’s been days with no end in sight. And I hate being sick. I mean HATE being sick. For a couple years I was a full blown hypochondriac! I’m doing much better now. But the fact still remains. This makes me feel really low. Helpless. Depressed. Hopeless. Like what’s the point?! But I shed a few tears in a bathroom stall and press on. The thing I always realize is that I get sloppy. I lose focus and lose sight of the objective. So when I’m healthy I do a lot of bad sht to mess myself up, like be mad and angry about stuff. Stress. A alot!! And why?! It can all end in a single beat. So this has to happen.  A friendly reminder that I’m taking things too seriously and that life is NOT meant to be lived like this! So as much as I hate these moments I’m also super grateful for them. They clear the trees so I can see the forest! 

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